Friday, March 23, 2018

He's Only Four Once

I'm embarrassed to admit that my first reaction to this etching in my bathroom windowsill was anger.

But, in a twinkling, my feelings changed from anger to the deepest adoration.  
It is just too perfect; it's even backwards.  
I will never sand this out, stain over it or put that doily with the potted plant on it.
And I can never move.
My sweet four year old Henry has placed his mark and I love it.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Best Dentist Visit Ever

The other day, I went to the dentist.  I was all strapped in and laying back with the paper towel pinned around my neck, my feet comfortably crossed, my hands across my stomach with my fingers intertwined, and all of the tubes and wires and lights swarming my head.  The dentist and hygienist had long ago left the pleasantries they directed to me--that I couldn't answer because of the tools crowding my wide-open mouth--and had begun conversing with one another.  The hygienist only works one day per week, though she has been working for my dentist for sixteen years.  So, there they were chatting away about the daughter that is leaving home soon, and painting the apartment, and a general update about the family. An amiable lull in the conversation followed as they continued working on my teeth. I just laid there and pretended not to be there, since I wasn't invited to join the conversation.  No big deal; I'll be a fly on the wall, so to speak.

Then, the best thing that has ever happened to me in a dentist's chair happened.  The hygienist spoke up in a congenial, but interested tone, "So, Chad, where did you get your vasectomy?" 

I couldn't help it.  I burst out laughing, my whole body shaking as I tried to keep my mouth open and not choke on the water or bite my dentist's fingers.  Tears leaked out of my eyes and slithered down my temples and into my hair as I enjoyed the extremely personal context of the exchange because, yes, they did continue to discuss it!  The doctors available, basic recovery time, the pain of the procedure, the follow-up, um, labs, and the overall cost were all gone over while they hovered around my face. 

There is no other way to describe it.  It was, quite simply, the best dentist visit ever!

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Vote for Eliza

The other day, Eliza decided she was going to run for president. 
 Not president of our country, but of Malarpia, a beautiful island nation.

 I'm going to vote for her and I think you should, too.  Here is a sample of her platform:
  • More Spring
  • More hoodies in professional settings
  • Hawaiian Fridays
  • Endless Mac & Cheese supply for everyone
  • Ban Vegetables (This might be a hangup for me, but I think she is still willing to negotiate some of her stances. But not the hoodie one.)
  • Ban Homework

Her vice-president will be her goldfish, Goldfish.  Her office will feature a wall of portraits of inspirational women and there will be a secret cabinet in her desk filled with snacks.

She has even written a new anthem for Malarpia:

Oh, Malarpia, thanks to you
You make pigeons coo,
Babies don't cry
and there's always a pink sky.

And that is how it's done, people. 

Feeling Rich

Our dinner tonight was a vegetable beef soup with homemade whole wheat bread.  This is a meal I make frequently at the end of a pay cycle when I'm relying on what is in my freezer or from stored goods . . . it always makes me feel rich.

Each time I lift my spoon, it is filled with the bounty of the earth. It is a traditional meal that has been served forever with the only variation being the availability of fresh produce.  Because of today's preservation methods, I have so much food sitting on my shelves. And this with hardly any effort on my part.

How many thousands of people over the centuries would have given their right hand to have the meal I have when we are down to our last!

Monday, March 12, 2018

It's Prom Time Again!

I'm telling you, it is so much fun to have all of these girls at Prom Time!

Eliza went with this very tall young man (she is 5'1"). I told her she needed to stand on a box!

The required putting on the boutineer. . .

"Like this?"

Believe it or not, this was a $47 wedding dress we found on Amazon. We dyed it, took off the tacky rhinestone trimming, added a more subtle rosette trimming and still came in at under half what prom dresses are going for these days.

Eliza normally has an understated style, but this year she wanted to embrace the fairy tale. When else in your whole life are you allowed to do that?

Saturday, March 10, 2018

I am a Finisher!

After 20 years of dedicating my body to nine pregnancies, I decided it is my turn to take my body back. So this year, I have committed to running four 5k races. Today was the first!

I'm not going to lie, I was fairly nervous. The only way I have to check my mileage is with my car's odometer, so I was never really sure how far I had been running. Would I make it? Would I burn out before the race was over?

Those fears were unfounded and I finished fully ten minutes faster than I expected. Whew.

My cute cheer squad encouraged me and, truth be told, they are a big part of the reason I'm doing this. I want to be healthy for them and around for their kids.

And I have to keep showing them that we can do anything we set our minds to do.

**Update:  I downloaded the app you recommended and, lo and behold, I've been running four miles three or four times per week.  What??  From seven minutes on the stair machine that I thought might be the end of me at the beginning of the year to running four miles about eight weeks later is pretty encouraging. Our bodies are amazing!

Friday, March 9, 2018

I was Afraid of That

Today in That Moment When:

There is an annoying, overbearing, far-too-outspoken, controlling, obnoxious character on a TV show I've been watching.  An unnerving thought kept teasing the back of my mind that

she is me, she is me, oh no she is me.

Then my nine year old daughter, who was watching with me one evening exclaimed,

"Mom, she reminds me of you!"


If you need me, I will be hiding in a hole somewhere with my hand held firmly over my mouth.