Monday, September 22, 2008

Age Requirements

"The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, 'this kid is driving me CRAZY!' " (Munsch, Robert. Love You Forever.New York. Firefly Books Ltd.)

One thing I've learned over the last nine years of parenting Pods: they go through phases. That means, they enter and then leave phases. Our fourth pod is a sweet, even-tempered, patient, angel child. She has just realized there are some expectations for two years olds to fulfill. It is unclear where they get this information; must be the park. Hmmm.

At any rate, this is a sampling of what Pod #4 has done over the last couple of days.

  1. Colored all over the walls, doors, windows and mirrors with crayon (Thank You to the inventor of the Magic Erasure!)
  2. Unrolled 1/2 a roll of toilet paper (Have you ever tried to re-roll toilet paper? I'm too cheap to toss it, so it becomes a big wad on the back of the toilet until it's gone)
  3. Colored all over face and legs with ball point pen (Where does she find these, you ask? Address this question to Pods 1-3)
  4. Pulled all the books off the shelves.
  5. Unrolled a whole roll of toilet paper (Have you ever tried to re-roll . . . oh, wait. We already talked about that.)
  6. Did her duty all over the floor then stepped in it to make sure she didn't miss any spots. (We're talking grout, people)
  7. Got out of the bath and pulled all the Lysol wipes out when my back was turned (I was washing my hands after the clean-up)
  8. Scattered the freshly washed, dried, and folded piles of laundry as I was putting something away in another room.

To make it clear: We are going through a phase . . . through a phase . . . "there's no place like home . . . there's no place like home" . . .Hey!! Where is the wavy screen and the floaty music telling me I am leaving this phase? Humph. Hollywood liars. What all mothers wouldn't do to get Nanny McPhee's stick!

Here is the other problem: She is darling and wonderful. She sings me songs that go, "I love you, Mama, You are my Mama, Mama loves me" etc. She sits on my lap and sucks her thumb and squishes her fat cheeks into my neck and all is forgiven. I love two year olds.


"I'll love you forever,

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be."


  1. Emily,
    How do you do it? You always put into words my feelings. You are truly gifted. I understand you COMPLETELY! Thank you for your words!

  2. I love 2 year olds too...especially Kenzie was never like a typical 2 year old- she is a dream child for the most part...but Julia on the other hand who is almost 14 months is a HANDFULL. She makes up for all what Kenzie lacked and then some-

    but it is fun- I love thier busyness...and seeing their wheels turn- I wish I could freeze a 2 year old in their littleness and just enjoy them forever-

  3. I think that is why they are so radiantly beautiful... I mean really. Is anything more glowing than a 2 yo? So you have this 2yo being 2 and they take your breath away with their beauty and you get lost in it and forget about being too annoyed.

  4. Seriously, where do they learn this stuff... or is it just that suddenly their brains start growing at light speed and they are curious about everything to the point of destruction? I can so relate, lol, I was reading your list and going check, check in my mind. :)

  5. Oh, Emily, I understand all too well! I"m still waiting for Parker to leave this phase . . .Oh, wait this isn't a phase with Parker, this is Parker! The things that we go through, & yet we still find a way to love them, through it. I guess that it's something that we have all been blessed with as mother's the ability to love even when we would really like to give them away. Bless Their Little Hearts!~

  6. I love you so much! I'll trade you pod four for the wild one. After a couple of hours, you'll call me crying and say, "Please return my pod! She's an angel!" The wild one has been in that phase for the last year. . . and he just BARELY turned two!
    Still, when he wraps his arms around me and says, "luv oooh, sooo n'much" all is forgiven. It's amazing.