Saturday, November 8, 2008

Open Letter to the Fleet

Dear Family,
  1. If you are doing nothing, please say, What can I do to help you, Mother Dear? (The Mother Dear part makes a difference, but the what can I do to help is the essential ingredient.)
  2. Develop the habit of closing the kitchen cabinet doors every time you open them.
  3. Unsolicited compliments get you bonus points. If I am wearing lipstick or a clean shirt, tell me how beautiful I look even if you don't think so. Obviously, I tried and this is the best you're gonna get.
  4. Turn off a light sometimes.
  5. Say Thank You, ever.
  6. Surprise me (and not the jumping-out-from-behind-the-door-in-a-dark-room kind or the in-the-diaper kind, thank you).
  7. Never say about my cooking, Wow. This is great. What happened? That is not a compliment.
  8. Watch how easily the toilet flushes with only three or four squares of toilet paper.
  9. If you pour a glass of milk, drink the whole thing. Those cows are working hard--believe me; I know!
  10. These phrases are bad for your health: She made me. I can't help it. Get Out! (And I'm not talking about the Elaine kind of sarcastic Get Out!) or I never get to do Anything!
  11. Know that you're mother loves you above all else.
  12. It is my job to grow you into respectable, responsible, intelligent adults, so listen up.

With all my love,

Your Mothership


  1. OH! This I LOVE!! It should be an open letter to all children everywhere, and they should have to agree to these terms or lose hope of getting anything but underwear for Christmas.

    Not that I feel strongly about it or anything.

    You go, Mothership!

  2. This is so good! You speak for all the moms out there.

    I still don't understand why it's even necessary for me to say "if you open a door, you close it". So, yes I'm with you on that one too. :)

    Many sweet blessings!

  3. Yes dear mothership... you are CIVILIZING them, and our whole future depends upon you doing that job.
    I like:
    right away,
    without delay --too.
    I especially love "How may I help you?" and when asked "You bet! I'd be glad to!" Attitude really can be taught. Some are born with good ones, but the rest of us CAN be taught... and bless mothers everywhere when they teach it.
    Great picture, by the way...