Friday, April 17, 2009

Thoughts on Sleep-overs

We do not "do" sleep-overs. Plenty of mischief happens during the day, under supervised care, and I am quite certain that the level of mischief will only escalate as parents fall asleep and young people let their guard down due to exhaustion. That is just one reason we've laid down the law on over-nights.

I slept at friends' houses plenty of times when I was growing up. One of the biggest problems we faced was the "next-day grumpies." Okay, I would never call it that, but Andy Bernard might.

Because we had stayed up so late the night before (and usually consumed a large amount of Sprite, BBQ potato chips, Starburst Fruit Chews and other healthy snacks), we were incredibly grumpy the next day. Can't stand "next-day grumpies."

Also, there are some homes where I do not want my children spending the night. I do not approve of the values the parents espouse. How do I tell one child "yes" and another "no" or have one friend know my child could stay the night at another friend's house, but not hers. huh?

And, obviously, the sexual predator business is far to scary in this world. That is a big, big reason for the precautions (not just adult predators, either).

There are a few in my peer group who think I am crazy. Am I way off base, here? My kids think I am. Of course, I disagree with a lot of their opinions: Fruit Loops is not health food even though it has the word fruit in it's title; Wetting one's fingertips under the faucet is not the same as washing with soap and water; No, knowing that green means go and red means stop are not the only driving rules and No, you can't drive; Yes, I'm sure you would take careful, daily care of the puppy and I would never have to even fill his water bowl.

What do you think?


  1. no sleep overs. no thank you. My babies belong to me, in my house, near by, under my watch.

    Now we might leave for a couple days...Chay and I need a little get away every now and then- and so that is where lovely grandmas and siblings come into the picture...but I like the rule.

    I think it is so important to have the rule set in stone before the question pops up. So...when are you writing a book emily?

  2. We have had the same rule and it has been a blessing. My kid would not always have agreed, but she loved it when she got invited somewhere and did not want to spend the night. Then she throws that rule around with glee. We drive and pick her up at 10 or 11pm so she gets the party part when these occur. Grandma's house is the only exception which makes going there a treat for her (she is there now, actually). Good job!! Sam

  3. No sleepovers here either. I actually read about the concept many years ago in a Gene R Cook book & thought how much sense it made. My kids are 15, 11, & 6 & it has never been too much of an issue. We always let the kids go to the party & then go pick them up as late as the parents want. I think the next-day grumpies, the predator issue, & who-knows-what-they're-doing-all-night issues all play a factor here.

    We are not lucky enough to have parents or siblings living anywhere nearby (at least 6 hours for a sibling & they both work full time) so when we go out of town we do have a few places with long-time friends (who have become much like our extended family here) that we will let the kids go to.

  4. Here, here! We have the same rule. It's never really been an issue. The kids have had a cousin sleep over at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and that is super fun for them, but they can't wait to get back home.

  5. We also have the same rule. We do not do sleepovers. I think it is a great rule and in today society I think we have to be extra cautious and maybe even paranoid when it comes to our children.

  6. I agree, if the word fruit is spelled f-r-o-o-t, there is no way what's in the box is healthy. Although, I find that I'm capable of the same kind of eating chocolate cpcake after chocolate cupcake is good for me, because chocolate contains antioxidants, and cupcakes have eggs, and flour...both of which are considered healthy. And this works as long as there's no one to rebuttal that there are about 4 cups of sugar in that cupcake, too.