Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Oh, I need more life!
Maybe I'll just get out my chipped resin turkey and have the kids make a project out of beans and popcorn kernels like I usually do.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
- A master bedroom with a seating area. It would just gather clothes to be folded.
- Stainless steel in the kitchen. Two words: blow fish.
- Laminate flooring = built between 1998 and 2011. I'd rather go with a high quality vinyl.
- A kitchen table and a dining room. Redundant.
- Jetted tub. I'd rather have a deep soaker, plus, it's hard to get into the jets and they get moldy fast. I only like mold on my shower doors.
- Shower doors.
- Pedestal sinks. They have no storage and no place to set the soap.
- Garbage disposal in the kitchen sink. It seems like they are either broken or they stink.
- Large bedrooms. Let's put space in the living areas of the house, rather than the sleeping areas.
- Faux stone--let me qualify that--cheap faux stone. It's like a bad toupee: we can all tell.
- Granite countertops. Holy smoke, have you priced that stuff? Whew! I'll get another trivet.
- Windows that reach the floor. I had those once. Five children produce a lot of mucus.
- Humongous closets. If I have enough stuff to fill this baby, I need to get rid of some stuff.
- Cupboards with glass panes. Do I really need the constant reminder that I am a disaster?
- Open floor plan. I simply must be able to close off the kitchen when someone arrives unexpectedly.
- Any shelving without doors below four feet. Imagine: cook books all over the floor, pots and pans concerts during the busy dinner prep, lovely and delicately bottled vinegars, oils and dressings scooped out of their homes and replaced with Polly Pockets, Winnie the Pooh, and muddy trucks.
- White grout. Actually, I'm thinking about eliminating floors altogether. I haven't quite worked out how that could happen, but cleaning floors is certainly a job I could live without.
Now, don't you worry. The money I've saved on the above items has a happy home in built-in book shelves, custom hinges and extra burners. Sometimes, though, it helps to organize my needs and wants lists when I also have a no thank you list.
What's on your no thank you list?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Introducing, The MotherShip Home Schools. Remember, Whether you are supplementing your child's classroom education, or are primarily schooling your children at home, we are all home schoolers. This blog offers simple ideas to help teach complex intellection.
You will notice that, though Mother Ship is usually two words, I've made it one. For blogging purposes, the word is MotherShip. It's kind of like McKee or LeRoy. So that's that. However, the homeschool/home school question has been plaguing me for some time and I recently found this article that helped. While the English language seems to be morphing on the subject, I will stick to keeping the approach in question two words: home school, home schooled, home schooler, etc. Maybe it will become HomeSchool in a couple of years until the transformation becomes complete. I predict that in 2013 I will begin writing homeschool. . .
unless the Mayans are right and we're all outta here.
Anyway, please visit my newest endeavor. It is, after all, academia from the kitchen table.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
My strategies are precise, though admittedly less effective: When we are out of underwear, I wash them. When we are out of glasses, I start a load in the dishwasher. When I can't find something, I clean the room. I like to go barefoot so when stuff starts sticking to my feet, I sweep. Yes, I'm a very careful housekeeper. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable with my perfection. We've talked about this before and I hate to keep bringing it up, but sometimes we must do things we don't enjoy (like mopping).
The most recent cleaning pitfall I've come across is dirty dishes--more specifically not having dirty dishes. Every time I go in the kitchen to make a meal, I have to wash the dishes first. Thus, quick meal prep turns into long meal prep. The children are laying about on the floor in various stages of starvation and their moans and whines of "Mommy, I'm soooo hungry" needle into my tendency for compassion.
How do you do the dishes at your house? Do the children take turns? Do you all clean up at once? Do you . . . what?
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
It seems a little redundant to me; right away and without delay are the same, but it relays an important message.
Silence. Crickets. Mouths and eyes wide open. Was Mom serious?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
There is a castle on a cloud, I like to go there in my sleep,
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Today, as I sat with my older children whispering and fidgeting, and my younger children crying and whining, a flood of thoughts entered my mind, I am completely failing. I must be a terrible mother to have raised such noisy, irreverent children. What am I doing wrong? I suck at this. I hate church, this sucks.
By the time we went our separate ways for classes, I was not in Church Mood. I was in Foul Mood. I was in slink-away-and-lick-my-wounds mood.
But, I went to class because that's what I do. Thank goodness for habit. It is the only thing that saves a swamped mother sometimes.
Our instructor asked us to imagine that we were going to be in a battle. With advance notice of a major battle, what would we do to prepare? She gave us several quiet moments to really think so I played along. What would I want? First, I would want a spy, intelligence. What is the enemy's strategy? How much and what kind of weaponry does he have? What are his weak places? How can I defend against or completely thwart his plan? Second, I'd need to protect my vital parts (head, torso) with strong armor. There are other things, but those are the first two that came to my mind.
The lesson continued to address the topic of preparing for, and fighting in, a great battle for our souls. The wily enemy is Satan. As I recognized the self-deprecating thoughts of earlier were deceitful messages from the enemy, I came to realize that I do have a spy. I have a perfect spy and if I will listen to the quiet promptings of the Spirit, I will not be led astray. Rather the opposite is true; I will be able to defend against or completely thwart the plan of the adversary. If I'd just looked outside of my own misery and woe, I would have noticed every other mother wrestling with her children in their impatient afternoon bodies. I was deceived.
Friday, September 4, 2009
The rest of the day is another story. It will take some getting used to. School uses up a lot of time and mornings are usually my most productive time. The afternoons felt like a scramble to get all of my work done, phone calls returned, and books read. I will not get my book club book finished this month, for instance. Also, I am tired. The first time I had to work an eight hour shift, I thought I would die. It didn't take long before I could even work tens or twelves without too much trouble. I'm sure getting used to our new schedule will be sort of like that. By 8 pm, I have been a grumpy mess. I even used a swear the other day--something I NEVER do. Really, never. I'm very careful about my mouth, which shows how thin I was stretched.
Final assessment? School was great, but The Mothership did not do so hot at balancing the rest of her life. I will make a few minor changes (kids to bed earlier, require less of myself) in the coming weeks.
And, by the way, Project Runway is back. Yippee!!
How is school going for your family?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Really? Really, really, really? Aren't there any other bad guys they could make synonymous with the Democrats or the Republicans?
How about Stalin? He was arguably an even badder dude than Hitler. He killed way more Jews, homosexuals and guys that disagreed with him. Don't forget about the millions of Russians.
Then there's Alexander the Great. Great? Was he great? 'Cause it seems like he just destroyed his way through Europe and Asia and didn't care much how many people were in the towns he torched.
Next time you need to critique Hillary, how about comparing her to the Countess of Blood--you know the chic that liked to bathe in the blood of young virgins?
There is no shortage of pysychopathic bad guys. Jack the Ripper and Jeffrey Dahmer don't even hold a candle to Robespierre, Caligula, and Attila the Hun. They were so freaking wicked that you could use their names to describe Glenn Beck.
My point is that if you don't like a person or a belief they hold, let's see if we can't be more creative in our name calling. I'm just bored with the whole "Nazi" comparison. It was only an effective critique when Elaine used it.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tonight my sweet daughter was telling me the story of Little Red Riding Hood. Actually, she was "reading" the story off the side of a raisin box to her doll and I was eavesdropping. She had every detail down pat from "Come, pick these lovely flowers to bring to your grandma" to "My, what big teeth you have!" My mother's style was sprinkled throughout the story. Grandma was not eaten by the wolf, she was put in the closet and the wolf "slammed the door shut!" Then the story began to take a twist. Papa, who usually takes the place of the woodsman who saves the day, comes to the door. "Then the wolf eated up Little Red Riding Hood."
"What?" I declare. "What did Papa do?"
She: "He said, 'Wolf? Did you eat Little Red Riding Hood?'"
Me: "What did the wolf say?"
She: "He said, "'Yes.'"
Me: "Then what did Papa do?"
She: "He said, 'Little Red Riding Hood, are you in there?'"
Me: "What? This is not the way the story goes."
She: Giggling. "Well, there was water in there so Little Red Riding Hood said, 'Yes I am.' Then Little Red Riding Hood changed into a little baby wolf."
I called Gram to make sure this wasn't her ending. Sure enough, in her version, Papa Woodsman saved them all and they sat down to a nice spread of tea and muffins.
My children all lack personality, creativity and imagination.