Sunday, September 27, 2009

Things I Do Not Want in the Someday House

  • A master bedroom with a seating area. It would just gather clothes to be folded.
  • Stainless steel in the kitchen. Two words: blow fish.
  • Laminate flooring = built between 1998 and 2011. I'd rather go with a high quality vinyl.
  • A kitchen table and a dining room. Redundant.
  • Jetted tub. I'd rather have a deep soaker, plus, it's hard to get into the jets and they get moldy fast. I only like mold on my shower doors.
  • Shower doors.
  • Pedestal sinks. They have no storage and no place to set the soap.
  • Garbage disposal in the kitchen sink. It seems like they are either broken or they stink.
  • Large bedrooms. Let's put space in the living areas of the house, rather than the sleeping areas.
  • Faux stone--let me qualify that--cheap faux stone. It's like a bad toupee: we can all tell.
  • Granite countertops. Holy smoke, have you priced that stuff? Whew! I'll get another trivet.
  • Windows that reach the floor. I had those once. Five children produce a lot of mucus.
  • Humongous closets. If I have enough stuff to fill this baby, I need to get rid of some stuff.
  • Cupboards with glass panes. Do I really need the constant reminder that I am a disaster?
  • Open floor plan. I simply must be able to close off the kitchen when someone arrives unexpectedly.
  • Any shelving without doors below four feet. Imagine: cook books all over the floor, pots and pans concerts during the busy dinner prep, lovely and delicately bottled vinegars, oils and dressings scooped out of their homes and replaced with Polly Pockets, Winnie the Pooh, and muddy trucks.
  • White grout. Actually, I'm thinking about eliminating floors altogether. I haven't quite worked out how that could happen, but cleaning floors is certainly a job I could live without.

Now, don't you worry. The money I've saved on the above items has a happy home in built-in book shelves, custom hinges and extra burners. Sometimes, though, it helps to organize my needs and wants lists when I also have a no thank you list.

What's on your no thank you list?


  1. I am with you on the open floor plan. My parents built a house when I was in High School that is all open and being the second of seven children the only quiet place to read was a closet!!! I want thick doors everywhere! What a fun post!
    Mary Ellen Fox

  2. I am completely done with high ceilings. Our family room has 20' high ceilings & our heating/AC bills are higher than the roof. Also, it just doesn't feel cozy enough. We always have a dining room & never (OK, once in each house) use it. I love my garbage disposal - it stays nice & clean because we don't put cantaloupe or celery or potato peels inside. And I really, really miss my jetted tub; there was special stuff that I ran through the water occasionally that kept the mold away. Oh, one more do-without - carpet in the bathrooms!!! Got it; hate it.

  3. I hear concrete floors with a colored varnish are coming back???

    I can't wait to have an open floor plan. Probably because I like my guests in the kitchen so I can make them food- and I like to know what is going on in the living room when I am in the kitchen-

    I do want a room for nice seating and a piano- and a place for reading...french doors away from the crowd type place...

    it is fun to dream isn't it????

    I like my little house. It does well for us.

  4. Jenna: Good to know about the high ceilings. I hadn't thought about the energy bills! I'm glad someone figured out a way to keep those jets clean!

    April: I like the idea of an open floor plan, I just know me well enough not to do it to myself. Still, I think you can make room for guests in a kitchen/dining set-up.

  5. You and I are truly kindred spirits, I agreed with everything except 2: I love our open floor plan because it makes house feel bigger (but my husband also likes doing dishes so saves me lots of embarassment). And I have to have lower cabinets, since I'm too stinkin short to reach up ones. But the rest, so true! No stairs for me, that's all I would add. Wish we were closer to each other so we could actually visit in person.

  6. I adore you. I had to add my list of do-withouts.
    Hallways. I hate them. I don't necessary want a super open floor plan, because my kitchen looks like yours, but I do not want an endless hallway. Yuck.
    I agree on doors on cupboards. Please, who thought to leave all that open. That's what the top shelves are for.
    Houses that are within 6 feet of each other. No one needs to hear me yell at my kids besides my kids.
    Fancy furniture. My Daddy's fond of saying, "You know what you have when you have kids? You have kids. And that's all you have." My money will be in sturdy, neutral and stain-proof.
    A solarium.
    Dark basements.
    "Media rooms." Please. That just means my kids will spend 10 hours a day begging me to watch tv instead of 9. It's such a crutch sometimes.
    I think that's most of it.

  7. Good grief, Emily, I'm loving your blog. It's blogtastic! It's bloggarific! It's blog-some (okay that last one was supposed to be awesome, but I kinda ran out of blog-related exclamations)!

    And I love your practicality and determined dismissal of interior design elements!

    Jetted tubs do more than get moldy. I sat in a jetted tub once, the jets made the water cool down faster. And stainless steel refrigerators aren't even magnetic. What would I do if I couldn't stick something to my fridge with a magnet? And amen to the open floor plan! Boo. Here's what I'd love instead of an open floor plan, my brother's house has a "hometeachers only room" by the front door that nobody ever goes into unless someone shows up unexpectedly at the front door. Doncha love that?