Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Probably Own Mom Jeans

I'm having a moment.

I have carried and nursed five children. That is nearly four combined years of pregnancy and nearly eight years of repeated filling and emptying breasts. Lets just say that everything's a little stretched out.

My husband is a student in the pharmacy program here in our small college town. He goes to campus every day--a campus that is populated by firm, twenty year old . . . um . . . girls . . . and their bodies. It used to irk me when I would see a girl wearing not much. I'd want to go up to them and wrap a big, ugly burlap bag around their parts them and then give a good long lecture about giving the frumpy stay-at-home moms a chance respecting themselves.

Now, however, I've instructed him to never read the words or phrases on the back of the sweat pants, and only befriend ugly girls. So, all of you cute girls that talk to my husband? Please stop. He may not notice your tiny little shorts, but I certainly will!


  1. A little stretched out -you're cute!

  2. Love it. "We" went back to college as married folk and I was a frumpster too. My husband and friends called "them" personalities. Perky 20-year-old personalities are the most annoying kinds!

    I love the idea of the frumpy mom lecture--Burlap for everyone!

  3. Kev had a ten hour lab a few weeks ago. They were getting some hands on practice of using a stethoscope the proper way, which is directly on the skin. I told him if he had to have a female partner through the rotations she had to be the most unattractive person in the room. (As if he could really say....seeing how you are the ugliest woman here, would you mind being my partner for the next round?)
    My insecurity is the 20yo's skin and hair. I want to be airbrushed.

  4. My husband is now an orthodontist -- working all day every day with 12 females and no males. While he was still in school, I would worry about this future prospect. So imagine my relief (my most fervent support) when he found this practice to buy, where all the assistants are at least 10 years older than he. "Don't fire anyone! Don't hire anyone!" I keep telling him.