Friday, April 23, 2010

Complaining

Then

I know, I know. The good people are always the ones who "fought a hard battle against cancer and never complained," or "raised a mentally handicapped child and never said one word of complaint," or "walked on the stumps of her amputated legs while raising six kids and never issued a complaint (this one from a true story I was recently told)." I guess I'm not a good person. Should I be embracing this fact or combating it? Hmmmm.



I'm totally going to complain in this post. Skip it if you feel that you only want sunshine and tulips.


My son was finally awarded his Arrow of Light from the Cub Scouts last night. This is quite the undertaking and is the only badge they earn while Cubs that they wear on the Boy Scout uniform. He had earned it months ago, but was assured that if he waited to receive it in April, the pack would make a big deal out of it. We waited and he kept going to cubs, even though he really wanted to start going to the Boy Scout troop.



The ceremony was lame. LAME. He may as well have been earning his Tiger badge. He was actually upstaged by the den mother's son who earned his Conservation badge. Parenthetically, once they are Webelo's, all of the pins and advancements are to be done as a den, rather than the family-heavy awards of the younger dens. Somehow, this son of the den mother earned a heck of a lot more awards than any of the other Webelo's. I, being mature like that, leaned over to my son and told him that if I was the den mother, he would have had a lot more crap on his uniform. He told me to be quiet. If they are supposed to earn awards as a den, wouldn't all of the kids have completed the same goals? Sheesh.


But, my kid didn't care at all. He was just glad that I didn't start screaming at the ref and throwing punches at the other parents to be done with Cubs and on to bigger things.

Now

I kept my cool last night as I didn't eat the dessert that wasn't provided and gave my obligatory thanks to those who didn't do much to help my son get those patches.

There now. I've shown my true colors by not only complaining, but doing it publicly. I am also ready to move on.

Way to go, son. We are proud of you, not only for achieving the highest honor a Cub can receive, but for being way more mature about being slighted than your grown-up mother. I love you.

12 comments:

  1. I missed an important note . . . the Cub Scout and Scouting program is designed to help parents and children grow closer . . . it is less the scouting leaders' responsibility to help your son with the requirements or patches than it is yours. Your son was not slighted by someone else.

    It's a good thing you kept your cool so as not to damage others' tender feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You don't know me . . . we've never met and probably never will. I responded earlier but the message must not have made it to you as I only see my second one there.

    It's apparent to me from your comments that you love and care deeply for your family. That is as it should be. However, your comments suggest that you have a misunderstanding about the responsibilities of Primary and/or the Scouting program. It would appear that you have missed an opportunity to help the den leader honor your own son. Maybe she was too busy that day, maybe she had a house full of sick ones, maybe the scouting budget didn't contain enough to allow for purchased desserts, maybe she was being consciencious of someone in the group who couldn't partake.

    It is not the scouting or primary leaders' responsibilities to honor your son. As you know from other activities in the Church, the meetings are to be centered around the Savior, not individuals. Your son certainly deserves praise from his family and a pat on the back from friends and leaders, though.

    You need no comment from me to know that the funds used by church leaders for activities are consecrated and holy funds to which they will be held accountable to the Lord. Purchasing extra calories for members in the States (who have so much already) seems frivolous to be upset about when so many members around the world don't even have a meeting house in which to meet and eat only beans and rice for each meal.

    You also understand that anyone who has been through the temple (endowed) are considered anointed in connection with the Abrahamic Covenant. Speaking against any endowed member could then be construed as "speaking evil against the Lord's anointed". I'm sure you didn't intend that but your blog suggested it.

    May I lovingly suggest that you not post such comments and thoughts on the Internet where others are exposed to negativity on such a grand scale. You are too wonderful in the Lord's eyes to be the instigator/contributor of such emotion in people. The internet, although a wonderful tool for good, is also (because of the law of opposition) an instrument for bad. We think that we're being read by only those we want, but everything on the internet (EVERYTHING) is stored and kept in memorium and can be used by those who work against the Lord's efforts. Someone who doesn't know you could read this, not knowing what kind of person you are, and totally misconstrue your faith, testimony, the Church, etc. We can never be too careful about these things as you know.

    If you truly feel as your words state, may I suggest that you recognize that thoughts are easier to forgive than written words/actions. Hopefully you will recognize the importance of confiding in a trusted, strong, faithful leader in the Church who can guide and direct you in healthier spiritual ways. This method is unbecoming of a Daughter of God.

    Signed -- Supportive, Caring and Concerned

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. Somebody really hurt your feelings! I'm sorry you had this kind of a reaction to my rare petty, whining post.

    My son goes to a community sponsered scout troop. It is fully staffed by volunteers (not the LDS church kind of volunteers, but those who LOVE scouting). Truly, Webelo's is supposed to be heavy on earning awards in the den and pack, not in the family. I do volunteer to help, but, for this event, was assured that it was all taken care of.

    ReplyDelete
  4. To our anonymous Bloggercop (AKA sharibill1983):

    Your comments at the same time were both puzzling & pathetic. Upon reading your condescending remarks I felt compelled to respond, though I rarely do so.

    The Mothership is my wonderful wife, who I would without hesitation endorse as the most kind, spiritual woman I know. In the future you may wish to be more cautious when preaching from a concealed fiber-optic pulpit. The fact that you missed the point of my wife's honest and self-deprecating post shows you do not come here often and perhaps you should keep it that way

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sheeesh!
    Sharibill1983-- Who pulled your string? It could not have been the Mothership alone. Talk about overreaction... maybe you should re-read your own 'anonymous' post and apply it to yourself.

    Supreme Commander-- I have the feeling this is just what SB'83 does to feel self important, to feel that he/she really is Supportive, Caring and Concerned(???) Could have fooled me...

    ReplyDelete
  6. bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh please oh please let me sit next to Shari!

    Em you're such a sinner-now we all know you're going straight to hell and it's documented right here on the internet and in heaven! Thank you Shari-Bill. BTW, Is the Shari Bill currently in congress? What does it represent -legislation encouraging shitty anonymous blogger comments couched in "as you already know" to people you don't know about something you think you know. Please.

    Emily I'll drive the bus on your way to the hell, cuz now my comments are "kept in memorium" (which isn't a word, btw) and I used a BIG swear!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Emily,
    Didn't you, yourself, question the "goodness" of this post upfront? Didn't you advise people to "Skip it if you feel that you only want sunshine and tulips"?

    Did Sharibill not read these introductory thoughts? Did she not read the ending where you praise your son "for being way more mature about being slighted than your grown-up mother"?

    HOW ON EARTH could this person get so worked up over such an innocent post?!?

    Emily, your Blog-posts... Lift Up, Cheer Up, Inspire, Bring out the Best and Contribute-to-the-Over-All-Goodness in the world. I have no idea where Sharibill is coming from.

    ReplyDelete
  8. As a former WEbelos leader in a Church sponsered den, I just want to say that the funds available to us to use were for the calorie laden foods that we all love and for the makinig-a-big-deal-of the boys who achieved any rank, especially the highest. I know my Arrow of Light ceremonies were not bery fancy or expensive, but I tried to make each boy feel special and have his moment.

    Emily, you are okay to feel the way you do.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you, my dear friends and real supporters. I love you and have adored reading your comments. I am glad to know I haven't completely fallen off my rocker!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Mothership,

    The Apostle Paul said, "I long to see you so that I might impart some wisdom unto you to the end that ye may be established." I would love to meet with you so that you could see and know of the sincerity with which I commented. It will be pretty-much impossible as I live a great distance from you. However; if you re-read the comments knowing the original intent, I believe you wlll see the message in a different light.

    Never before have I been on a blog site, but someone in your area contacted me asking me to read it to see if the shock factor of what you said was as strong to me as it was for this person. My shock factor was very strong. There are obviously others who are displeased with what you said. Maybe they choose not to speak out because they fear the same type of response and retribution I evoked. My natural reaction after reading your blog was to assume you are as lovely in person as you appear in the pictures -- therefore, I hoped you would simply recognize my concern and desire to be of service in telling you of a possible oversight.

    The fact that you are speaking of a public scouting situation vs. a Church scouting situation doesn't change the suggestion that the scout leader needs some slack. It actually adds credence because her service is done with love (as you suggested) and not because she's fulfilling an assignment/calling. Hopefully she never hears of your blog comments as it could be really damaging to her desire to be a public servant. Bless her heart for being of service to your son and others.

    I'm sure I wasn't wrong in my assumption of your great worth and I'm also confident that I followed promptings to respond to your blog.

    The message was meant for you (not to be spread around and mocked at) and was not intended to hurt you in anyway, but to enlighten.

    I must admit I'm disappointed in the outcome, especially in the comments made by your family and friends followed by your joy in their comments. It felt as though I was looking at the "great and spacious building" referred to in Lehi's dream whose inhabitants mocked and took pride. (bold statement, but true.) I wondered if your replies would have been the same were I the wife of an Apostle or General Authority of the Church. I'm not; however, like you, I am a Daughter of God who was trying to look after the best interests of a sister whom I'd never met.

    Again, I'm sorry your feelings were hurt; and again, it wasn't the intent. Best wishes to you in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  11. sharibill1983--

    My feelings were not hurt. Your comments were so far out in left field I figured that you must have been having a bad day. More than anything, I was puzzled.

    If you really want to have a conversation where clarity prevails, please email me (top left column). I know your IP address, but I do not have access to your email address.

    I have hundreds of readers--many of whom are complete strangers to me. I do not control their comments.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dearest Mothership,

    Please recognize that I find no fault in you, nor do I judge you in anyway. Internet communication seems difficult to me because the tones in voices that add clarity to conversation are lost and left to the imagination of the reader. As with previous comments from me, my thoughts are made with a soft heart and I try to say them with kindness and truth.

    In my responses, I have honestly tried to be very careful and mindful of your feelings. I haven't wanted it any other way. There must be a reason I was prompted to write you in the first place, and only you and the Holy Ghost -- which is a member of the Godhead -- will ever know why I was prompted to say what was said. I was not out in left field, the words were not of me as I was responding to a heartfelt prompting. Is it possible that the comments on your blog were headed the wrong direction and needed to be curtailed and that someone loved you enough to get your attention through an uninvolved party?

    I was not having a bad day, . . . and I'm sure you were surprised and puzzled; just as surprised as I was to receive the prompting(s). I also believe that you misunderstood (and possibly still do) the intent behind the communication(s).

    It's no surprise to me that you have hundreds of readers . . . I'm not interested in that aspect of this communicae, and I wasn't suggesting you controlled their comments. What I attempted to set forth was the possibility that people who were concerned about your comments might not tell you for fear of responses like I received.

    You previously mentioned that your original blog comments were complaints not meant to hurt; that being the case, (because the internet is so public and accessible) why not keep the disappointments to which you refer in a private journal or in personal prayer. This lessens the possibility of someone being irrevocably hurt. Your original blog was pretty tough on the scout leader. Your comments to me have been about the same calibur although it appears this last is softer. I want you to know that I know I'm not perfect and never tried to imply I was, nor do I try to pontificate in others' lives.

    As I previously said, I believe from your pictures and other blog information, that you are a Daughter of God (which is to say Covenant with God). I also feel that you have great influence for good on those around you, especially the hundreds who read your blog . . . given that, I am lovingly and kindly asking and/or suggesting that you use that power to uplift people and speak good of people and continue to set a good example. I see from your blog that you are very good at that with your family members.

    I ran across something interesting in my studies a couple of weeks ago. Did you know that in the Bible, when the Lord is speaking with Moses and is saying that He wants his people "to be a peculiar people" that peculiar was mistranslated? The word peculiar actually means "covenant" He wants a "covenant people." We both -- you and I -- are such. Different in personality, different in location, station in life, age, etc., etc., etc. but even still, it is possible for us to be one in purpose.

    Again, best wishes.

    ReplyDelete