Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Information Request

I need information.  I have been invited to a "Slumber Party" at a friend's house.  No, it is not an adult women's sleep-over, it is kind of like a Tupperware party only instead of selling air-tight plastic dishes, they are selling underwear and massage oils . . . and stuff.  I am not shy about spousal intimacy, but I do not share details.  I may mention that it is happening (quite a few eggs have been . . . uh . . . fertilized . . . here), but that's about all you are going to get.  I have never been to a, you know, store, outside of Victoria's Secret and the underwear department of Penney's.  (I am using all of these code words not because I am uncomfortable with them, but because some of you, my dear readers, certainly ARE.)  I have been known to drive a little too far from my house to buy something special on the off chance that I could see someone I know while that was dangling on the hanger in my hand.

So, at first, I thought this Slumber Party would be like a bridal shower--kind of fun and assuredly funny (like when my seventy-something grandma was going through my newly gifted honeymoon sundries with too many oohs and ahhs and That's a good ideas).  Then, I got the invite and it said, along with lacy undies and oil, something about toys and other.  "Oh, no," I thought.  "What exactly is this?"  I went to their website to check it out.

Bad choice.

There was a box that asked me whether I was eighteen.  If I have to check a box that says I am eighteen years old so I can look at what is on their page, that is like a huge ol' red flag.

I don't think I'm a prude (though most who know me would agree that I am highly innocent), but I want to be above reproach.  I don't want others to get an invitation and think, "Oh, Emily went to one of these" and then be horrified at what they were shown there.

Have you been to one of these?  Do I need to be worried?  Is it like a bridal shower or Victoria's Secret?  Would you be okay if your neighbor lady saw you carrying one of their bags?

Thank you.


  1. I am all in favor of "dressing for the sport" but I would be nervous going to a party with an over-18 rating.

  2. I was invited to one of these parties. I told Chay about it and it was HIM who said, "I don't think so" He found it to be inappropriate for me to go. It then ocurred to me that the whole "sex" party kind of disrespects men if you think about it.- Because it sort of makes light of something special between husband and wife- and the husband isn't even involved- he is home watching the kids while his wife and other silly women get together and giggle and laugh about intimacy with their husbands- and then the wife comes home to her husband way late from talking too much with her girlfriends about sex and spending too much money on over priced sex toys, and then of course is "too tired" to have sex with her husband. Imagine that.

    I went to the slumberparty website and was greatly surprised to find dildos were 50% percent off retail value! Oh my what a deal! Let's just say, I didn't feel good inside when visiting the website- it was a big confirmation, "no thank you slumber party party."

  3. Good Gollie, who can never remember her passwordOctober 13, 2010 at 10:52 AM

    Sorry, but um, gross. This is not shopping I could do in a store or at a party with a group of my girlfriends...how would that go..."oh, that looks nice/fun/good...do you have anything um bigger?" Gah. Looks like a big fat blush fest for me and something I don't think I could participate in...ever, much less write a check for.

    But...if you do go, you must post a blog about it...because I say swears and I'm mortified, I would love to read your write-up about it!

    Love the mothership!

  4. I don't know, Em. If a slumber party is not such a good idea for the kiddos, I'm guessing it's a bad idea for the parents as well.

  5. All I can say is EWWW! I don't even like bridal showers where the lingerie is supposed to be funny or totally gross, its just not something particularly entertaining to me. To me that's always been a private matter between the two of you and that's it. I would definitely not go if I were you. I agree with it being somewhat disrespectful to the husbands as well, and honestly would any of us be okay if our husbands were ever invited to such a party?! Um, NO!

  6. I also set a policy long ago that I will not go to any such parties, be they candles, scrapbook stuff, tupperware, or underwear. I hate them all and even if I were to like one I wouldn't go because it just makes me spend more on stuff I don't really need and then I have a harder time saying no to the next one. That way I can always say in all honesty that I do not go to any of those kind of selling parties and hopefully not offend anyone.

  7. I think the parties are above reproach. The products are about bringing fun and enjoyment to your intimate relationship. If our intimate relationships were wholly about bearing children, we'd be designed to be pregnant every single time we procreate. The website is obligated to have that tag. That doesn't mean necessarily mean the website is R rated. I'd take my mother to that party with me. I think that one ups my scary neighbor.

  8. A few years ago I realized that I was on "the list" - I was invited to every single party & felt obligated to go to every one. My husband finally said, "No more!" I go & spend money that I don't have on things that I didn't know that I needed until that evening. I agree with the other poster - it is nice to say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't go to parties to spend money."

    I was at a bridal shower many years ago where some really crazy stuff happened & I would like to never feel that uncomfortable again.

  9. so um, interesting question Emily. I have been to a few of these parties, take my Mom, no, embarrassing, maybe depending on the sales person. I have never been Slumber Party brand show, but there are a couple of other companies in Boise that I have been too.

    Ok, to ease your mind about these parties. They have lingerie, toys, oils and other sexual aids you would find in an adult store. They also have books and videos about improving intimacy.

    If you were to order typically you go into a different room with the consultant and tell her what you want and you walk out with a brown paper bag and no one has any idea what you purchased unless you show them. Some of the products have non sexual uses as well, such as one of the creams also works well for teething children -- we found this product to be valuable when Hannah was teething, she had a rough time.

    Um, I also think that what you do privately has no bearing on how people judge you. I personally feel that some things I am sure other people do privately are gross, but, again it's private. And when/if you order something at this party, it is private and you aren't out there flaunting what you do at home.

    I guess what I can say the most is if you would be shocked to see someone else walking into their house with a brown paper bag from a slumber party, you probably should stay away. If you would be fine with it, then go.

  10. These type of parties have been the source of many counseling sessions and even fireside materials. It is not recommended, and totally discouraged by religious leaders...it has gotten to be quite a "problem" in Utah, and has led to some very serious offenses...such as adultery, lesbian encounters, and masterbation...do you want to be involved in any of these things! They are not just parties to sell stuff...they are the devil's modern-day tool.

  11. Hi! I just stumbled upon your blog today and find it really interesting. I also think it's likely that I have a much different point of view than some of your other readers. (For instance, I hope that the last comment was facetious.)

    In response to your question of whether or not to go to this slumber party: If you think it would be fun / informative then you should go. If you feel like it would make you feel uncomfortable, then don't.

    I don't see the over 18 tag as being a warning -- there are some subjects that are appropriate for adults and not for children.

    I also strongly disagree that going to this "Slumber Party" would be in any way disrespectful to your husband (as a previous commenter hinted.)

    I'm curious to know what you decided!