(Some of the family on the first day of pharmacy school.)
My husband's fourth year of pharmacy school is a series of rotations. He could have been assigned to one of four cities and, while he could submit a request, no promises were made. Today we learned our fate and . . .
We are going home! (Or at least within a thirty minute drive of home.)
I have so many thoughts and emotions that I just couldn't sleep. I should be working on secret Christmas presents, but I can't even focus on that until I wrap my mind around the changes this announcement brings.
As soon as my husband received the email, he hustled right in to tell me the news. We made the calls to family and there was a fair amount of cheering and hooraying. They were super fun calls to make, let me tell you. How exciting that it will no longer cost an arm and a leg to watch the boy dance his small role in the Nutcracker, to witness the baptism of a niece or to go sit on Mom's couch to cry on those days that that is needed. When it is time to haul firewood, we'll be there to help. When I can't figure out an electrical problem, Dad can stop by after work. If the cousins need to play, they can get together to do that instead of trying to communicate on a web cam. My husband and I could enjoy a weekend without the children, a thing we haven't done in five years. We can sponsor a family barbecue in the backyard. All vacations will not have to be spent visiting family; we will have the freedom to go somewhere because we will see our family at will. When I have my next baby, my sister will be there.
I've been celebrating these and all of the other small things that we've been missing.
But, as my five children and my husbandfriend were sitting together in our living room tonight, doing nothing special but enjoying one another's company, a twinge of trepidation crept up on me. We are so happy here. We have learned and grown, our family is strong and united. We have learned to depend on one another in a way that is not necessary if there is a bundle of extended family to help ease those burdens. Will we lose our quiet(ish), small birthday parties? Will we find ourselves having to attend every thing for every person to the point of our missing each other? If help in the form of family is right around the corner, will we take the chance to learn how to do it on our own?
I will miss my friends. I will miss my book club girls. I will miss my home. I will miss this town. But, I won't have to miss my nephews growing up and I won't have to miss my elderly grandmother. What a bittersweet time.
So, there it is. Wonder and heartache in one email--not the mention the burden of readying a house to sell and the excitement of starting new.
But, before I can do anything else, I need to get sewing.
Goodnight, dear friends.