Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Sister Told Me to Write

I haven't been very regular with my blogging lately.  You probably haven't noticed, but my sister has.  It is important to do what your sister tells you to do and she told me to write.

My sister at her daughter's wedding.  They let me step in on a photo.

I'll tell you what I have been thinking about.  It is controversial.

We are having a baby.

At first glance, you might think, "How could that beautiful statement be controversial?"

She (we've decided that it is a girl so that expectations for that evasive boy type don't cause sadness when she comes out a she) will be our sixth child.

A few of you will not even think that is controversial, but many of you will--even if you wouldn't say it out loud.  It is only good news for our family.  I have been wanting another baby for a long time and didn't even take a test until I was eight weeks along for fear it would be negative.  The children and husband are all excited and supportive so you need not worry that criticism is coming from within the walls of my home.  But it is there.  And some people are loud about it.

These are the reasons, all of which I have either heard or been personally told, and I will try not to share them with too much sarcasm.

  1. Having a large family is selfish.
  2. There is no way each child can be individually nurtured.
  3. It is not healthy for a woman to spend her entire adult life raising children.
  4. Someone will be left out.
  5. It is gluttonous to have so many children when others can't have any.
  6. Someone will go crazy (most likely the mother) and we will have to pay for her asylum care.
  7. It is financially irresponsible.
  8. In large families, the children are always unkempt.
  9. It is a drain on community and world resources.
  10. The older children didn't choose to have that many siblings, yet they must take care of them.
  11. How could you bring children into this horrible world?
I am gearing up for the rude stranger comments:  
  • Are all these YOURS???  
  • You must be crazy!  
  • Don't you know how to stop having children?  
  • You don't have to populate the world on your own, you know.  
  • Here is a card for Planned Parenthood.  I'm sure they could help you.
  • Mormon or Catholic?  (I actually don't mind this one.)
  • I hope you are paying for the care of all of these.
and so on.  

I have a friend who had nine children.  Once, when she was asked why she was having another child, she responded, coolly, "The angel told me to."  

While I could sit and write a detailed response to all of the above comments, it isn't worth the time.  If you are from a large family or have one yourself, you already know the answers.  (My father-in-law, father to nine, once said to me, "Children are the only true joy you get in life."  Good enough for me!)  I do have a response prepared, though.

Someone has to pay for that stimulus bill.


  1. your Dad spilled the beans on his blog...I have a million blogs to read and for some reason decided to click on his in my reader...I loved that post by the way.

    Large families are GREAT.

    Emily, I so wish I could have it together like you do. I don't. I wish my body had it together like yours. It doesn't.

    I LOVE children. I love babies. I can't think of a greater joy than spending time with my children.

    I find it crazy how people decide to stop having children. How can someone say "I'm done" because I will need an angel to know that for sure. I never want to say I'm done, when Heavenly Father might have a different plan for me.

    I am so happy for you.

    You are so so healthy and strong. Keep having them! Our children in this world need more mothers like you.

    So does this mean "the 12 passenger van" now? Time to say goodbye to that minivan?

    Children are our greatest joys. Sometimes I have to pinch myself when my little Ju Ju tells me a story with all expression. It's like I died and went to heaven- so adorable. I just can't believe she is mine!!!

  2. I am SO jealous! I would kill for 6+ kids.

    And I don't get the "It is gluttonous to have so many children when others can't have any." comment. What, do they expect you to not have as many out of solidarity or something?

  3. Congratulations! I think it's awesome that you have a growing family! And it's even more awesome because I know you're an awesome super mom who does everything beautifully. SO excited for you!

  4. I love you my sister! Thanks for writing, I love to read your blog. You have a large family, you do it well. For your birthday (yes I know it was weeks and weeks ago) I will buy you the t of your choice from this page

    <3 Mollie

  5. Emily, your awesome! I got warm fuzzies reading your post. Dave and I have been trying for another baby for 3 years. Health issues have made it difficult, but we feel we are not done. I love my kids and I love being a mom, so I am all for having as many as the Lord thinks I can handle. It's up to him, so we are waiting patiently.


  6. Congratulations! When are you due? Thanks for sharing your enthusiasm. I really need some of it right now.=)

  7. COngratulations! You are now and have always been a fabulous mother. What lucky kids you have!!! Can't wait to see you in Spokane!

  8. Congratulations. I can't wait to hear your responses. You're witty, you're smart . . . you're a mother. You'll handle them all just fine I'm sure.

  9. Your dad spilled the beans when he spoke in East Valley Ward on Sunday! Congratulations! I can't believe how rude people can be! My sister has heard all the comments too! When people asked her if she knew how to STOP having kids she would smile sweetly and say "I don't understand it, we only shower together once a month!!" Your children are blessed to have such wonderful parents! Parents like you (who do it so well) should have as many kids as they want! The world would be a better place if all kids could be so blessed! When people make comments just give them your beautiful happy smile and then walk away!

  10. Yippee Skippee!!!!! Hooray! This is wonderful news! I am so happy for you! How are you feeling?
    I have missed your frequent blogging.
    Love you!

  11. This one maybe gets me the most:

    "There is no way each child can be individually nurtured"

    So that person is suggesting that with God's help NOT all things are possible.....that God could NOT possibly increase one's capacity to LOVE and NURTURE. (I guess too bad for us that God had so many children)

    Oh, and Emily, here is another favorite response when asked about having so many: "I'm just so curious to see what the next one will look like".

    SUPER Congratulations, by the way!!!!! So, So Happy for you guys!!!

  12. I have told a few people, and 100% of the time people have been thrilled... but I am telling people my own age and older... Most people over 50 had big families-- at least what we call 'big' today. Several have said things like-- I LOVED being part of a big family. I LOVED my brothers and sisters. I cannot imagine what life would have been like without them. None of us felt deprived or unloved. Most of us were not even aware that we were 'poor.' I think, by having more than 2.7 children, you are giving your children a gift that is becomeing more rare. God bless families-- of every size-- and God bless those who know how to be joyful for parents, whether they have 1 or any number more. We need good parents, and we need happy children. 1 or more.

  13. Congratulations! I can't tell you how many people look at us funny for having....wait for it....3 kids! Gasp! I was asking my husband the other day, since when did having 3 kids make you a HUGE family??? People need to stop judging and focus on their own lives, in my humble opinion. I think you guys are awesome, the more the better! Thank you for being such a great example in motherhood. I love your blog!

  14. Oh Emily! I think with the amazing skills you have as a mother, that you should have as many as you want. In fact, can you help me raise mine? hahaha. :)

    Hope everything goes well. It sounds like you have a lot of help, encouragement, and love in your corner.

  15. Congrats Neighbor! I'm so excited for you and your family! I hope that in a few years I will be in your shoes with MANY kiddos to love!