Saturday, August 27, 2011

Missing Her

Yet another friend has had her baby.  It is wonderful and, of course, I am thrilled that he is a healthy baby.  Maybe I am happier for her than I ever could have been before.

But, I cry.

I would like to hold my baby again.  I would like to see her make those sweet newborn faces.  I would like to feel her sleeping weight on my chest; listen to her suckle in her dreams.  There is so much that was taken and, though I know that I will be with her again, the human emotion of the bone-aching sadness endures.

I never understood, and ignorantly thought it was more sentiment than reality, when people said they thought every day of a loved one who had passed on.  Every day?  Really?  Well, now I know--and I wish I didn't.


Every day.

Every single one.


  1. I am so sorry. I still worry every time someone goes to the hospital that everything will be okay. I am grateful for forever too.

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  3. Love and hugs to you, Emily!!! And I'm sure I'm not the only one crying tears with you as we read.

  4. Thanks to the gospel we know that we can one day be with our loved ones again. I believe that I can feel my loved ones who have moved on especially on days that I struggle. She is near you and Families truly are forever.
    I pray for you and your family. Yes, you will think of her often, but the pain changes and becomes a push to aim for the Celestial kingdom more then ever.

  5. Dear Friend,
    I am sorry for the pain and sadness you are feeling. You have a strong testimony, but that doesn't mean you don't miss your baby. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Tessa at some point. She is one of my children and I miss her. I don't hurt anymore, but I do miss her. You are wonderful and I'm sure the changes in life with I. aren't helping your current emotions. Sending hugs and prayers your way.