Saturday, August 27, 2011

Missing Her

Yet another friend has had her baby.  It is wonderful and, of course, I am thrilled that he is a healthy baby.  Maybe I am happier for her than I ever could have been before.

But, I cry.


I would like to hold my baby again.  I would like to see her make those sweet newborn faces.  I would like to feel her sleeping weight on my chest; listen to her suckle in her dreams.  There is so much that was taken and, though I know that I will be with her again, the human emotion of the bone-aching sadness endures.

I never understood, and ignorantly thought it was more sentiment than reality, when people said they thought every day of a loved one who had passed on.  Every day?  Really?  Well, now I know--and I wish I didn't.

Yes.

Every day.

Every single one.

5 comments:

  1. I am so sorry. I still worry every time someone goes to the hospital that everything will be okay. I am grateful for forever too.

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  3. Love and hugs to you, Emily!!! And I'm sure I'm not the only one crying tears with you as we read.

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  4. Thanks to the gospel we know that we can one day be with our loved ones again. I believe that I can feel my loved ones who have moved on especially on days that I struggle. She is near you and Families truly are forever.
    I pray for you and your family. Yes, you will think of her often, but the pain changes and becomes a push to aim for the Celestial kingdom more then ever.

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  5. Dear Friend,
    I am sorry for the pain and sadness you are feeling. You have a strong testimony, but that doesn't mean you don't miss your baby. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Tessa at some point. She is one of my children and I miss her. I don't hurt anymore, but I do miss her. You are wonderful and I'm sure the changes in life with I. aren't helping your current emotions. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

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