Monday, September 26, 2011

Having an Affair is NOT Okay!

I am reading a wonderful book right now.  The writing is smooth, there are several words I've had to look up, and the historical part of the historical novel is spot on accurate.  The plot revolves around a fictitious family.  The author has done a stupendous job of creating this family.  They are completely real--so much so that you feel yourself falling in love with each character (in a Greek philia kind of way).  I think part of the reason his characters are beloved is precisely because we are shown their faults alongside their traits of good repute.  I have believed in these men and women, trusted them to make the right choice even (and maybe especially) when it difficult to choose the right.

Until today.  Today there was adultery.  I put down the book.  It wasn't elicit and didn't go into detail.  It wasn't the sex that made me mad.  It was the infidelity.

And I'm sorry world, but having an affair is not okay!  It is never okay.  I don't care that you just lost 200 pounds and feel sexy for the first time in your life.  Give that to your husband!  I don't care that your spouse travels a lot and you miss the physicality of marriage.  Wait!  I don't even care if you loved him and then you thought he was dead so you married the wrong guy and then he actually wasn't dead so you screwed him because you never stopped loving him.  You chose the man you chose.  Period.  If you absolutely can't keep your pants up when you are with someone else, then you need to divorce your husband and marry the other guy.  (This is not the action I would suggest, but it is better than cheating.)

I get mad when there are affairs in books or movies, but I get LIVID when we are supposed to be cheering for the adulterous relationship rather than the married relationship.

Remember King Arthur, Guinevere and Sir Lancelot?  This movie made me furious.

Am I alone in this?

By the way, I will probably finish the book.  I put it down as soon as it said, "Rhoda slept with Kirby when she went to Connecticut."  I am hoping that Rhoda will admit her gross violation of her husband's trust and it will end up being an inspiring story of repentance and forgiveness.


  1. You ARE alone! Adultery ROCKS!!

  2. While I obviously don't condone adultery, and like you, I can't think of an acceptable reason to do it, it DOES happen.

    You said that you loved the characters because they're real. Real people do stupid, wrong things. They disappoint us. (Even book characters). So, I guess you should treat them like you would a real person you felt a friendly affection for who confided in you that they'd done something like that. You (probably) wouldn't close the book on the friendship even though you disagree with their actions. BUT, if they insisted you cheer on the behavior if they continue it, then maybe it IS a good idea to close the book on the friendship.

    So, I guess you need to open the book back up and find out which it will be. ;)

  3. Justin--You are a brat.

    Brandi--Great comment. I did open the book last night at it seems like there will be some redemption. So far, the author is not asking us to root for the adulterous relationship.

  4. So with you there. I get just as frustrated, and as I've grown older I become less tolerant and patient about it, and find myself as well feeling that it is not worth it to continue. Yes, fiction is to mimic real life and yes we all make mistakes and do the wrong things. However, I get frustrated with more and more books and stories lately that make it just another "usual" occurance, and don't seem to care about the moral implications. Its like they throw it in (same with language or gratuitous violence) just to get more people to read it, not because its important to the story.

    I detest the story of lancelot and gueneviere (and never know how to spell her name). I love the story of King Arthur though. My mother once used one of the last scenes in the "Camelot" movie in a lesson once to illustrate that its not worth the pain it causes, for everyone involved.

  5. I totally agree with you. And I also love Brandi's comment. I've been in the situation of having a dear friend both on the receiving and commiting end of immorality- it was difficult. There was a time when I had to distance myself because I felt she wanted me to condone the behavior, and I would not. In the end it was a very happy day when she contacted me again with a much different attitude.

    The instant gratifications is not worth the long-term consequences! So sad that many people don't get that.