Saturday, November 3, 2012


I'm irritated.  Really irritated.  I've reached the point where I need to get out of the house.  Right now.  Without children.  I need to go to a movie.  A funny/sweet/love kind of movie.  There are no movies showing right now that fall into any one of those three categories.  Teenage hormone movies?  Check.  Sicko pervert movies?  Check.  Horror slice 'em up movies?  Check.  Corny kids movies?  Check.  Funny/sweet/love movies?  NOT ONE!  Rather than take it out on my family, I'm going to take it out on you.

  • How did we let the LGBT community hijack rainbows?  I like rainbows.
  • When people show their weight-loss before and after pictures, why are they in their underwear?  And why are the after pictures always seductive?  No one carrying a little extra is sexy?  I know a few husbands who would disagree.
  • Why are there so many pictures of eyelids and fingernails on Pinterest?  Who has the time to take eighteen steps to cover one eyelid?
  • How is it possible that it can take the entire day to clean the house, but it can be completely demolished in under fifteen minutes?  
  • Who said it was a good idea to teach teenagers that it is a bad idea to pop their zits?  No one wants to look at the pus-filled boils.
  • Does anyone really eat beet or kale chips?  Why are we buying the myth that everyone else is eating healthier than you?
  • Why is there not one sharp pencil in my entire house?
  • I am so sick of Queen, Harry Potter, Cell Phones and Computers.  I love my children, but sometimes they sound like a broken record.  Please talk about something else.
  • While rolling out cinnamon rolls yesterday, I banged my head--twice!--on the upper cabinets. And, you know, I was rolling aggressively as is required so I really hit hard.  I hate this house.  
  • Stop swearing.  Learn a new word.
  • The dog keeps eating everything.  
  • My pregnancy hormones are in full swing.  I cried on Halloween when a seven year old boy came trick-or-treating in his homemade robot costume.  Who cries over some other kid's costume?  Why am I tearing up right now?
  • The hot water tank in our trailer doesn't provide me with enough hot water to get really warm in the shower.  Plus, the tub is too small for a regular-sized body (much less one in a rapid growth scenario  to take a bath.  I hate this house.
  • I hate how the movie industry has ruined so many amazing stories.  If it was a book first, don't make it into a movie. . . unless you are Peter Jackson or Emma Thompson since you have a talent for it.  The rest of you, stick to new ideas.
  • I want to go back to Disneyland.  By myself.  Or Hawaii.  Either would be fine.
  • Why is it so hard to close the lid and flush?  
Okay, I'm feeling a bit better.  I'm going to go to a baptism now and I'm going to be nice.  It might be just the thing I need.

No.  I think throwing this little hissy fit is what I needed.

Thanks for listening.


  1. Emily-- I love you!! Such is the life of a real mom! I'm glad you had a better day on Sunday but I hear you!!!

  2. Oh, one more thing. The movie I watch when I need something funny/sweet/clean/uplifting/real: Dan in Real Life. I love this movie.