Thursday, October 10, 2013

He's Leaving Soon

Day after tomorrow.

That is when my 14 year old son moves to Russia to train at the best ballet school in the world.

My emotions are all over the place.

Side A:  I HATE asking people for money.  Hate it, hate it.
Side B:  It has been so wonderful to be a first hand witness to people's extraordinary generosity.  Humbling, to say the least, especially when those $5 donations come it--because I know it is the widow's mite.

Side A:  My child gets to go to an amazing city with a deep and varied history.  Amazing!
Side B:  My baby is going to be very, very far away in a foreign land.  He will be on his own and he is so young.

Side A:  NO, NO, NO!  I can't do this.  It is too hard.  There are too many papers I don't understand, too many requirements we can't figure out.
Side B:  Alright, let's get down to business and check off our boxes today.

Side A:  Bawling, bawling, carrying on and bawling.
Side B:  Utterly thrilled that this boy has such a once in a lifetime opportunity.

On it goes.  I am desperately trying not to neglect my spouse and other children.  My house is holding itself together, which, it turns out, is not effective.  The fundraising seems to be at a stand-still because I feel like we've tapped out all of our friends and family and don't yet have a new approach for the remaining $14,000.  The building of our house is also on hold because we are fighting with the engineer and I don't have the energy for the fight (nor the money to pay for the golden footings he proposes).

And I'm trying not to panic.

Many miracles have happened and sometime I will fill you all in.  Our Heavenly Father has a plan for all of his children.  Sometimes trials are given to us and other times we can choose the trials.  Choosing a trial takes a lot of courage.  Right now, I am praying for courage.

1 comment:

  1. You ARE brave and courageous. I'm guessing it will be harder being the one at home waiting for news than the boy out for the adventure! And he won't be alone.