That is when my 14 year old son moves to Russia to train at the best ballet school in the world.
Side A: I HATE asking people for money. Hate it, hate it.
Side B: It has been so wonderful to be a first hand witness to people's extraordinary generosity. Humbling, to say the least, especially when those $5 donations come it--because I know it is the widow's mite.
Side A: My child gets to go to an amazing city with a deep and varied history. Amazing!
Side B: My baby is going to be very, very far away in a foreign land. He will be on his own and he is so young.
Side A: NO, NO, NO! I can't do this. It is too hard. There are too many papers I don't understand, too many requirements we can't figure out.
Side B: Alright, let's get down to business and check off our boxes today.
Side A: Bawling, bawling, carrying on and bawling.
Side B: Utterly thrilled that this boy has such a once in a lifetime opportunity.
On it goes. I am desperately trying not to neglect my spouse and other children. My house is holding itself together, which, it turns out, is not effective. The fundraising seems to be at a stand-still because I feel like we've tapped out all of our friends and family and don't yet have a new approach for the remaining $14,000. The building of our house is also on hold because we are fighting with the engineer and I don't have the energy for the fight (nor the money to pay for the golden footings he proposes).
And I'm trying not to panic.
Many miracles have happened and sometime I will fill you all in. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for all of his children. Sometimes trials are given to us and other times we can choose the trials. Choosing a trial takes a lot of courage. Right now, I am praying for courage.