One of my children asked tonight which of my pregnancies was the most stressful. I explained that my last was because it was right after our Eowyn's death. I had panic attacks and was anxious about every twinge and pain. I was anxious about comfort. I was worried and scared and stressed the entire pregnancy. My oldest then asked if my pregnancy with him was stressful. No. It really wasn't. That isn't to say I wasn't sick or uncomfortable, but there are some perks to first pregnancies.
You see, I didn't know what I was in for. I didn't know how long the morning sickness would last. My body was strong and young so a lot of discomfort was averted. When I was tired, I took a nap because I only needed to take care of me--and my husband, but he is rather capable of looking after himself. Meals could be quickly prepared. Laundry was one or two loads per week. I did have work, but I was so excited with the prospect of becoming a mother that I hardly gave heed to the difficulty of becoming a mother.
Fast forward seventeen years. Now I know how long morning sickness lasts. I vividly understand the aches and pains associated with pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I'm running a massive galleon, filled with ACT prepping high schoolers down to a toddler learning colors and letters. I'm trying to keep the house clean, I'm trying to fulfill my church and co-op responsibilities, I'm trying to blah, blah, blah.
And I'm sick. I want to curl up in my bed and bawl half of the day.
There are bright spots, though! My husband has been a champion to me. He has been keeping the kitchen and dishes under control. That is such a massive burden lifted from my load. He even got me a little spa morning (my least sick time of the day).
In addition, my older children are older! I do get to hound them over new things, but when I ask them to clean a bathroom or tend to a younger child in need, they do it! Correctly!
My life is not all that tough, I've just become a wimp. Cowboy up, Emily! Soldier on, private! You have work to do!
Just right after I take a teensy nap.