Thursday, May 19, 2016

Ah, Hormones, How You Screw with Me

My beautiful youngest arrived just over two weeks ago.
I cannot get enough of her.

Once you know how old my daughter is, you'll also know that starting a few days ago, my postpartum hormones went bonkers.  
Tears all. day. long.  
Those tears may present themselves for no apparent reason or for a very good reason.

At four o'clock this morning, my husband awoke to my sobs, "What's wrong, Mama?"
"The weight of the world."

Sometimes it feels like that!
Of my seven with me children, I am presently worried sick about five of them.
On the other hand,
my children absolute delight and thrill me.
I'm not healing quickly from my last labor and delivery and it is frustrating and worrying.
On the other hand,
nursing hurt for less than a week this time and my baby is gaining weight at a healthy rate.
I'm a lousy mother.
On the other hand,
I'm not doing so bad as a mother.
So many people rely on me and I can't do it all right now.
On the other hand,
it is good for them to do without me for a while, if only to recognize how much they rely on me.
Bills will never go away.
On the other hand,
my husband has a job he enjoys.

Then, Singing in the Rain comes on and I'm sniffling again.
The marine saluting vets for hours.
The cancer families on Humans of New York.
The son brings home donuts and chocolate milk for the family.
The husband put my underwear in the dryer for me.
The wildlife was incredible on our day drive.
The girls are happy and cute with their piglets.
I hurt the kid's friend's feelings.
The cheering people at the parade.
The child was rude to me.
My baby is perfect in her tininess.
My baby wants to be awake from 3 AM-5 AM.
I'm tired.
I love being alone in a quiet house with my sweet one every early morning.
My three year old hates me.  I know because he keeps telling me.
And now I'm crying over Be a Man from Mulan!

Good grief, woman. Get a grip!


  1. I love you Emily! Hang in there!
    Congratulations on your beautiful baby. :)

  2. This is a great description of crazy postpartum emotions. I feel heavenly for exactly one week after a baby and then the second week I am so unpredictable. The great thing about so many kids us you know your crazy are normal and you'll pull out of it. Hugs to you!

  3. Oh, the hormones! I agree with Betsy, that was a great description!