Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Lists

For the past week, I have awoken each morning full of ambition and energy.  Today is the day!  Today is the day I come out of my postnatal coma and re-enter reality and responsibility.  I make my list at breakfast:

  • weed the lavender bed
  • wash the windows both inside and out
  • keep up on laundry and dishes
  • hang closeting materials in the girls' closets and help them sort their mixed up clothes
  • read the Book of Mormon
  • shower
I struggle for the first few hours in the morning to complete things on the list.  By noon, I am frustrated and disgruntled with myself.  I've fully finished nothing on my list.

This is the reality of having a newborn.

How much time does one give oneself for holding and feeding and cleaning such a tiny being?  There are many willing hands in the house, but if they are holding her, they are not getting their list finished either.  No one else, of course, can feed her and I wouldn't give up that task even if it were an option.  To be quite honest, I don't want to hand her off for any amount of time.  A month has already gone and her cheeks are getting plump.  The time will fly by.


Will I regret not getting the lavender weeded?  Probably.  Will it be a while before the house keeping is done with care?  Absolutely.  Will I ever type my blog posts with both hands?  Not for a long while.  But what would be worse?  Looking at a three year old and realizing I've forever missed precious moments with my baby, or dirty windows?  

I will continue to make my lists and I will continue to struggle to cross things off of it.  But I'm going to give myself a break if nothing is completed at the end of the day.  She really will be tiny for such a short amount of time.


2 comments:

  1. You are a wise mother!! Your children are blessed!

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  2. Never say never, but this baby girl will most surely be the end of the line up for us. If that is the case for you as well, I am going to justify all sorts of baby savoring in the name of "the last time". Somehow with earlier children it seemed like the world would fall apart if I didn't keep going full steam ahead. I definitely plan to chill out this time.

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