I have finally figured something out about myself. I know why I stay up too late reading my books. I will often fall asleep in the middle of a sentence, my arm cocked at an odd angle, holding the book aloft until I wake up with stiff joints from trying to stay in that position, despite sleep's desperate call.
I turn into a five year old when I am reading late at night. I'll shake my head, change positions repeatedly, drink ice cold water, take a run to the bathroom, even hold my eyelids open sometimes in an attempt to stay awake and read just a few more minutes.
WHY in the WORLD do I do that?!
Well, I had an epiphany this morning and I now understand my motive.
Every day, I have my list of chores that must be done to keep the house running and my sanity intact. I make my bed, unload or load the dishwasher, fold some laundry and start a new load, make breakfast and read the newspaper. By that time, someone needs a ride or help with something. I finish that, run in to fold the dry clothes and start another load of laundry and put something in the crock pot. This list of chores continues, yet throughout the day, I keep thinking to myself, "I just need to finish this and then I can go read my book!" But it doesn't work out that way. I finish the "this" of that thought and it is time for a diaper change or a trip to the grocery store or any other number of things. When I finally finish my chores and sit down, book in hand, to relish in the story I'd been trying to get to all day, it is late in the evening.
I sit by the fire or cuddle in my bed and read, read, read. Ahh! Here at last! The house is quiet, no one is demanding my time or butting into the magical moment to ask if I know where their shoes have gone or if we can buy a dog (and what breed would we get if we do buy one). Even the three year old is sound asleep and not destroying the house.
I have to read late because I know that when I get up the next morning, I'll have to go through the whole rigmarole before I get a chance to savor the written word.
So even though I am tired in the morning and it is hard to get out of bed, I keep doing it. I'll stay up late to read because I EARNED it . . . and I have to make the most of it before I have to start all over tomorrow.